I went to tour Stephen F. Austin, as it is my absolute last option on my list of colleges to attend. The degree plan I wish to follow is very competetive and only five schools in the state really offer it. I swear though. I am not going to that university. All that open house proved were the facts that everybody said about how much they party and such. They didn't even know they had an agricultural/equestrian facility at the information booth, and these are people who work there to give information? You've got to be kidding me. They've only ever had five famous peope graduate there that they could talk about, big deal. It's been around seventy five years. Good god. It is very much a place for people who are not serious about their college level education. It couldn't be any easier to get in, and is primarily full of partying kids. I'm not going to spend my life regretting the fact that I had cheerleaders dancing around me making comments on how my make up looks bad.

So, it's off to Texas A&M to tour there and see if it's better.... I doubt they'll be lacking in advice on the program and what not.

Oh, and from now on. I'm just not going to talk about my horses to people. Now tomorrow, not the next day, and not ever again. It's not worth getting attacked. I don't want to argue with anybody over my life. I don't think I could be any more stressed out right now. I'm doing the BEST I can here! I don't know what your expectations are of me, but I hope our friendship means more then this. I for one REALLY hope it is. I can't make anybody understand that I work my ass off on a daily basis, because it's what I can do until I get myself lessons. Which hopefully won't be that long from now! I don't expect some miraculous happening to fix everything that's happened, but I do expect to get lessons ASAP. Okay? I am at my end and am about to have a fucking emotional breakdown. It's almost like I'm being written off and losing a friendship over something like this, and it hurts so much that I can't even put it into words. I'm sorry for whatever I suddenly did to upset anyone, but I'm not even aware of what it is so can't really say much more then that. Is it because I've failed as a friend or what? I have up until this point considered myself to be a very strong person, but I am crumbling right now and it is happening very fast.